In which I want to eat all the time – no really, all the time!

25 Sep

Seriously. All I want to do is  eat and I think it’s because I quit smoking. I have to chew gum all the time now, otherwise I’m convinced I would do nothing but eat. 

Currently, I think I’m exhibiting excellent self-controll as there’s a bag of peanuts sitting right next to my work station as well as an apple and a banana right behind my computer. So tempting, but chow is soon, assuming that my battle buddy returns and goes to chow with me.

Why am I always hungry? I haven’t done anything except for work out this morning and then sit in the office all day long . I haven’t left the building except for lunch today. I haven’t done anything productive since about 10:30 this morning. I did however, get to watch the newest Grey’s Anatomy on my boss’ iPod, which made me super happy.

I especially don’t know why I get anxious about going to chow when the food is so horrible. Several nights out of every week I end up eating a PB&J sandwich rather than stuff down the gross food they have for us – some nights I crave PB&J, other nights I am pissy and hateful toward the people that make our chow. They are civilians and they are evil. Maybe tonight will be something edible – I am craving spaghetti! I need spaghetti! The other night, it was such a tease, they gave us meatballs, but without pasta.  I guess they figured we would do the whole meatball sub thing, but I was pissed, because it just made me think about spaghetti. I might make spaghetti every single day that I’m home.

I know when I’m going to Germany, so that’s a plus. Well, I roughly know when in October I’ll be going. I’m excited to get on with this deployment. Germany is going to suck though.  There will be little communication home, a shortage of washers and dryers, no linen service or laundry service which means I’ll have to find time to do my own laundry and sleep in a sleeping bag for roughly 3 weeks while I’m there.  On the upside, I’ll be in Germany. I’m soooo ready to get to Kosovo. I’m tired of being here and there’s a huge list of things that I want that I don’t have and don’t want to get until we get to Kosovo. I want to get fuzzy slippers and real sheets and all that, but that’s all stuff I’ll get shipped in Kosovo so I don’t have to carry it on the plane with me and then through Germany and back on the plane. Argh.

I’ve started missing Ohio more and more. I found people from way back when on MySpace and it just made me start thinking about the good ole days before the deaths and before everything got so complicated. I think part of it has to do with being in Indiana.  Seeing things like buckeyes and milkweed and wild thistle all over the place brought back a lot of memories that I didn’t remember having. I have, and always will, carry Ohio in my heart. I spent a large part of my formative years there and I will never forget the lessons I learned there. It is home to me, and, as much as I love Virginia, I would love to go back North, to go back to Ohio and get away from the South. Ohio winters are better – colder and you always know it’s going to snow. Buckeyes are fun to find and the plants are still more familiar to me than Virginia plants – is that strange? I spent three years in West Virginia, eleven in Virginia and eight in Ohio. I think the Ohio years are the most important – the beginning of grade school and middle school. I’ll always miss it.

I’m excited about my leave in two weeks – I miss Adam and the dogs so much. I keep thinking about Conner – my evil youngest pup. He really might be the antichrist, but he’s so cute. He’s the kind of dog that you would kill if he didn’t have a pretty face. Seriously – he’s spiteful and I’m pretty sure he knows it. He’s better for me than he is for Adam though, probably because he loves his momma the bestest.

In closing, I leave you with yet another song. It’s fabulous – I heard it for the first time this morning and it just seemed so fitting to my current state of mind.

Leave the City by Magnolia Electric Co.

it broke my heart to leave the city
I mean it broke what wasn’t
broken in there already
but all my great reasons
for leavin’ now i can’t think of any
it’s true it was a hard time
that i come through
and i’m still thankful for the blues

half my life spent on a highway
half my life i didn’t choose
i have seen the north star
shining in the freightyard
and i knew it was a hard time
but it came through
it made him thankful for the blues

it broke my heart to know you were waiting
i had so many things to do
it’s true as far as a lot of stuff
you could have had a little better luck
but with you i’m not givin’ up
tonight i’m not givin’ up

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