Over the past few days, I have been reading and fixing some older blog entries, and I’ve come across several quotes that I fell in love with before I began my 101 in 1001 challenge. I want to add them to my list of quotes, in order to make #22 more complete, mostly because I loved them before, and I still love them. This might be cheating, I’m not sure. I don’t think I ever told myself that I had to find the quotes after the start date of March 1, but even if I did, I’m the one that makes the rules, so it really doesn’t matter if I change the rules or not. I’m in control here, you know.
First of all, there’s the kindness quote, originally found here.
“Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.” – Samuel Johnson
This is one quote that I found when I absolutely needed it. I was so mad at someone, and someone was so mad at me, and we had stopped being very kind to each other due to the obvious lack of fondness. Then I found this quote. I realized that, while I might not like someone, I most certainly possess the ability to be kind. I’ve found that this quote applies well to my work and my behavior in the office. I’ve got to be nice to all the people that call me with silly questions, regardless of whether or not I’m particularly fond of them. It might be this quote that gets me through painful conversations with annoying people.
Next, there’s the safely at death quote, one that might break my vow to myself to stop putting up quotes about life, but that I love regardless of whatever rules I made previously. It is most definitely a quote that belongs on my list. You can find the original entry here.
“So many people tiptoe through life, so carefully, to arrive, safely, at death.” — Jermaine Evans
And we do. And I have. I don’t want to arrive safely at death. I want to arrive screaming and fighting and proud at the end of life. Death is not something I want to safely reach. I want to reach it after crossing many obstacles, obliterating my own bridges only to realize that I have to cross the same tumultuous waters all over again, and after living without tiptoeing, but instead with big, steady footsteps in four inch heels.
Then, there are the love quotes, both found here. They are not quotes about little pink flowers and chocolate hearts. They are instead those longer quotes that I usually shy away from, but that instead of over-emphasizing hurt, do wonders to describe the anguish of heartbreak.
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love”. — Neil Gaiman
My bitterness has subsided quite a bit since I put this up, but regardless of that, it’s still perfect in its honesty. Love does take hostages. It’s a wretched and delicious thing. Also, there’s
“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.” – Gilda Radner
It’s not just about love, but also about life and everything in between. Things don’t generally turn out the way we plan, but instead they turn out differently, perhaps to teach us something.
Not to get too cliché here, but I do believe in fate. In the past two years fate has thrust itself into my life in a big way, thus making it virtually impossible to deny. It’s out there. It exists. Certain events happen in order to set the path in the correct direction and to set other events in motion. The biggest push fate gave me was this deployment. I thought about volunteering, but didn’t, and then, when I finally thought I was safe from being called up, I got the call that yes, I would indeed deploy with the 29th ID to Kosovo. It has been one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. I’ve made some amazing friends, friends that I hope to keep long after this deployment is over, but I’ve also learned a lot about myself, how I handle certain situations and people, and it’s also given me a chance to see parts of Europe I probably never would have seen otherwise.