I’m learning to like myself better, really! (or, a self-exploration post)

28 Jul

Since I deployed I’ve managed to meet some fabulous people and also grow closer to fabulous people I knew prior to the deployment.  These close friendships have lead to long conversations about my issues, about my friend’s issues, but mostly my issues because, who are we kidding, I have a lot of issues.  The general aftermath of these conversations has led to much introspection on my part, and to get all gross and cliché, I’ve learned a lot about myself over the course of this deployment. 

Specifically, I’ve been thinking about the parts of my life I have always dubbed as “weird” and “embarrassing,” thus leading me to conceal them.  Well, I’m slowly having a change in heart.  Stay with me here, but maybe all the “weird” experiences I’ve had are actually what make me the Terra I have become, and maybe, just maybe, those stories are weird, but in a good way, like an “interesting” type of way.

Maybe this is all about me being 23 now and caring less about what other people think about me.  In high school I wouldn’t dare tell anyone that I lived in West Virginia for a few years, or that my family was really poor growing up, because, hello?!  That leads to insta-Stigma, and the 15, 16, and 17 year old me could not deal with insta-Stigma.  That would have cramped my style. 

But now, with some sort of new-found understanding of myself and a little more self-confidence than I was graced with in my teen years, and hell, even in the years of 20, 21, and 22, I think I’m ready to share the stories I always thought were too out-there to share.  I mean, how many people have been attacked by a chicken?  Or, better yet, how many people have been attacked by a chicken and then, later that week, gotten to eat said chicken for dinner?  I think I’m finally comfortable enough in my own skin to realize that there’s nothing embarrassing about being attacked by a chicken, it’s just ridiculous, but that doesn’t mean that I should keep it to myself.

Lastly, if you’ve ever been attacked by a chicken (or a turkey, or a goose), I would love to hear about it and maybe, depending on my level of insanity, we could bond over our war stories against poultry.  Or, you know, maybe not.


3 Responses to “I’m learning to like myself better, really! (or, a self-exploration post)”

  1. Ross July 28, 2007 at 2:15 PM #

    One time at a lake I was chased by a goose. It was terribly frightening. I hate birds.

  2. Valerie July 28, 2007 at 3:08 PM #

    A deer once almost ran over my sister. That’s right.

    BTW, I think growing up poor and being able to avenge the attack by eating the chicken makes you awesome.

  3. titus2woman July 28, 2007 at 9:38 PM #

    HA HA HA HA at the above commenter~with the deer~OH MY!

    I remember growing up we would visit this one family’s farm, and their chickens or rooster would chase me. I wasn’t actually attacked, but it scared me to death! and I did NOT get to eat it. DARN!

    I’m really encouraged by this post. I need it at 35! *I think* I’m getting better, and then I have a hard time. I’d actually like to learn to keep my mouth SHUT more… LOL! I don’t know… I have lots of thoughts on this issue that I don’t know how to sort out and express.

    I’d still LOVE that e-mail about Kosovo!!!!! ((((((HUGS)))))) sandi

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