A series of goodbyes

26 Oct

I didn’t expect this. I didn’t prepare myself for it and I don’t know how to prepare myself for it either.

It’s the goodbyes. The next week is going to be full them.  Actually, it’s already started.  Last week I said goodbye to my boss. Today I said goodbye to the public affairs detachment.

It’s strange.  Just like everything else about the end of this deployment.  Strange.

Being a Soldier is actually rather strange, now that I think about it.  Sure, it’s a job, but it’s more than that.  We’re a community of sorts.  Yes, there are people I work with that I don’t get along with, but still, if it ever came down to it I’d give my life for any of them, regardless of whether or not I consider them a friend. Maybe that’s what makes saying goodbye to these people so difficult.

It’s been a long year, but it’s been fun too.  I’ve made friends.  I’ve tried to do my best and I have, I think, succeeded.  Yesterday morning the civilian organization that guards our gates presented me with a certificate of appreciation and it made me cry.  Things like that, and all the simple “thank you” emails I’ve gotten in the past week, make all the stress, all the bitching, all the long days worth it.

Regardless of my willingness and readiness to leave Kosovo, I still don’t think I’m prepared for how hard some of the goodbyes will be.  My boss was bad enough, but then there’s my roommate and coworker who is staying on for another rotation.  That’s going to be the hardest one.

I know that I’ll see a lot of these people in the future, but there’s a lot of them that I probably won’t see.  The Soldiers of KFOR 8 are made up of something like 22 states and Puerto Rico.  When the hell am I ever going to see my friends from Puerto Rico again?  Or all the Massachusetts people?  And even my Virginia people…yes, I’ll see them again but it won’t ever be like this again.  This community, this partnership that we’ve built, as corny as it sounds, is unique to Kosovo.

Ah, Kosovo.  Leaving requires saying goodbye to Kosovo, to this life I’ve lived for the past year, this person that I am when I’m here, in Kosovo.  I’ll miss it.  I can’t lie.

Goodbyes are hell.  I don’t expect to have tears left by the end of this thing.

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5 Responses to “A series of goodbyes”

  1. ArmyWife October 26, 2007 at 10:56 PM #

    You probably know my husband =)

  2. instatick October 27, 2007 at 10:06 PM #

    It’s possible – Camp Bondsteel is a pretty small place.

  3. titus2woman October 28, 2007 at 8:35 AM #

    (((((Terra))))) I can so feel all those conflicting emotions! I mean, it will never be the same. My very best friend moved to Ohio, and while she would love to move back, in some ways it will never be the same as it was before. Anyway, I guess I kinda understand that.

    When I was growing up I visited my Mom like, once a year. I remember boarding Groome at the Holiday Inn, and I would always cry driving away from my family~missing them already. And then when it was time to leave my Mom, I would cry again, already missing her. It was a weird tug-of-war in a sense. WHY am I telling you this? LOL!

    (((((HUGS))))) sandi

  4. cecehm721 October 29, 2007 at 5:02 PM #

    Goodbyes suck…especially when you never know if and when you’ll ever see these people again. It’s a huge part of this journey through life.

  5. instatick November 1, 2007 at 7:30 PM #

    You said it best cecehm721 – Goodbyes suck!

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