Three-Day Weekend Redux + Adventures in Defining “Soon”

 

Friday

• Got off work early.
•  Felt bad for E who had THE WORST DAY EVER. (He didn’t get paid on time, which was bad because bills were due, the headlights on his car stopped working just as he was about to head out of town for the long weekend, and then, once he left, he got not one, but TWO tickets.)
• Porched.  (Seeing as we hang out on the porch EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND we have turned porch into a verb.  Example: “Are we going to porch this weekend or what?”)

 Saturday

•  Assumed responsibility of cute puppies.
• Went to Funny Bone for the first time ever to see Steve Trevino who is ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS AND YOU SHOULD GO SEE HIM RIGHT NOW BECAUSE, HOLY CRAP, WE LAUGHED SO HARD WE CRIED. Seriously.  This guy is good. We went to the late show and part of what made it so great was we could tell Steve didn’t want to leave because he was having so much fun and because the audience ABSOLUTELY LOVED him, probably because he’s FABULOUS AND AWESOME AND SERIOUSLY WHY HASN’T ANYONE TOLD ME ABOUT HIM BEFORE?!?!
• Came home, porched, rehashed half of Steve’s best jokes for the porch crew that didn’t attend the show, went to bed.

 

Sunday

•  Went thrifting with the Hubs at Diversity Thrift, but didn’t find anything of much interest. 
• Again, entertained the cutest puppies ever.
• Had the whole porch crew over to watch Harold & Kumar escape from Guantanamo Bay.  Laughed hard, but not nearly as hard as we did at Steve Trevino (Really, he’s awesome).  
•  Played Scene It!  I suck at all games that require me to remember anything from movies because, despite my love of movies, and despite my impressive movie collection, I still don’t EVER remember anything from the movies I’ve seen.  Needless to say, we lost, played again on different teams and I STILL lost despite being paired with Andrew who is, usually, the Champion of All Things Requiring the Ability to Spew Random Information. 
• Porched, stayed out late with L for much needed girl talk.

 

Monday

• Played with puppies briefly until their momma came home and relieved me of my puppy sitting duties.
•  Enjoyed time at home while Andrew took D to the airport and went with E on a bike ride. 
• Had some girl time sitting on the porch discussing men, dogs, books, and children.
• Had a problem with the word soon:

The Problem with Soon

So there I was, waiting patiently for my darling husband to return home from his bike ride with E.  Once 7 PM rolled around I sent Andrew a text and asked if I should go ahead eat dinner seeing as he wasn’t home to cook me dinner as we’d previously discussed and, as usual, I was HUNGRY. 

 

He texts back: Be home soon.  Blah blah some other stuff blah. 

 

Assuming that soon meant, you know, soon, I decided to start cooking, that way dinner would be ready by the time he got home and I could feel all good and wifely and he’d be relieved that he didn’t have to come home and make anything.  And so I started cooking a penne pasta dish with sausage, zucchini and a tomato sauce.   I figured I only needed about thirty minutes to make dinner and since Andrew had said he’d be home soon, I assumed by the time I was done cooking he’d be home. 

  

And then, about thirty minutes later, dinner was finished and Andrew wasn’t home yet so I sent him a text that said dinner is ready and hoped that the moment I sent that text out and into the world, he would walk through the door. 

 

Instead, he called me and said he was out and he’d be home soon (I hate that stupid word) and then, feeling all grumpy and bitter and tuckered out from the long weekend I hung up on him because sometimes, every once in a while, I get all nasty and mean and do things like that. 

 

By the time Andrew got home I was halfway through my dinner, had cleaned up the kitchen, made him a plate of food and was, just maybe, a little bitter. 

 

As we now know, Andrew and I have VERY different ideas about how long soon is.  I think soon is less than thirty minutes, whereas Andrew thinks soon is an hour or less. 

 

What do you think?  How long is soon? 

 

(Please answer knowing you won’t get my husband in trouble if you agree with me because once he came home and explained his understanding of the word soon and said dinner was delicious I got the hell over it.)