This hat totally doesn’t fit

10 Jun

Andrew and I are hosting our first guests in the new house tomorrow.  I am scared shitless.  I don’t really know why.

Okay I do, but it’s stupid. 

First, it’s my husband’s best friend.  Which means I still feel like I have something to prove. Like, I feel I need to be this perfect wife/hostess so his friend won’t hate me.  Stupid, yes. I know the women’s movement happened, but for whatever reason (I blame the patriarchy), I STILL feel like I need to be little Ms. Suzy Terra Homemaker. Which I’m not. 

Don’t get me wrong – I love my house.  I love cleaning it and finding new stuff for it and getting it all set up and me-afied, but I am not the hostess type.  I’m just not good at it.  I don’t like waiting on people. At all.  It’s just not in my nature.  Get it your own damn self. 

Sure, I can fake it.  But faking it kinda sucks.

Plus, I really don’t want to be domesticated.  That’s not a word I would like to use to describe me ever because I am not a dog.  A bitch sometimes maybe, but not a dog.

Second, I have gotten in the habit of peeing with the door open.  Judge me all you want, but come on, you probably do it too and it’s just not something you can do with guests in the house.  So tomorrow night, when I wake up with a full bladder in the middle of the night because I chugged three cups of water like an assface right before bed, I’m going to have to not only drag my sleepy ass out of bed and into the bathroom, but I’m also going to have to close the door.  Ugh.

Third, there is still SO MUCH TO DO!  We cleaned and cleaned and mopped and vacuumed and GOT OUR NEW DINING TABLE FINALLY, but still.  There is SO MUCH MORE than needs to be done.  And my new computer came yesterday in all of it’s beautiful 17 inch glory and all I want to do is play with it (did that sound dirty, or was it just me?).

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7 Responses to “This hat totally doesn’t fit”

  1. Margaret June 10, 2009 at 11:51 AM #

    They are coming to visit you and Hubs, not the house.

    You are a delightful person, you will certainly charm them.

    Closing the door and running the water is something I do also…when there are other people here.

  2. Ash June 10, 2009 at 3:12 PM #

    Like it says on my bumper sticker, which is on the fridge:

    FERAL GIRL!
    Any attempt to tame or domesticate will be hazardous to your health.

    After all, you really were raised by wolves…

  3. taraSG June 10, 2009 at 5:28 PM #

    LOL this is exactly how I felt when my in-laws visited for the first time. My husband was fully aware when he met me that I am not domestic at all. He does his own laundry, helps with cooking and cleaning, and also does some grocery shopping. His mom doesn’t quite get it 🙂

  4. Liz June 10, 2009 at 7:56 PM #

    As you know, I also am not the hostessing type. I like to try and do a middle ground where I’m a little out of my element and maybe my guests are too, but I find it works. Simply let them know where things are (food, beer, bathrooms, etc) and let them know that they can get them whenever. Maybe be the first to get it and then everyone else will follow suit. Yay! Hostessing accomplished!

  5. Holly June 13, 2009 at 3:41 PM #

    plz to be having housewarming party soon? I’ll come and be a hostess goddess (the only way I’m domestic at all). 🙂 have fun with the wedding(s)!

  6. titus2woman June 16, 2009 at 3:41 AM #

    How funny! I love to hostess, but HATE to clean my house. Maybe we could swap services…. (((((HUGS))))) sandi~your blogroll has really grown, and I’m enjoying it!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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    […] of very good friends got married in June. The happy couple were our first house guests the week before their wedding and, luckily, my sunburned forehead cleared up just in time for the […]

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