1 – It’s best to clean your bathroom AFTER you wash the dog. Cleaning the bathroom BEFORE washing the dog will make it so you have to clean the bathroom AGAIN. Also, it will make you feel like a dumbass.
2 – Sometimes, if you wash and brush her, SadieDog goes absolutely insane and runs around the house like a maniac, leaving wet spots on all the furniture and making all the rugs in the house crooked. It’s kinda annoying because you have to go back and clean up after the tornado that is that dog, but it will make you laugh after a long day of work and cleaning and yelling at your husband for no reason.
3 – Putting a dimmer switch in your dining room is easy.
4 – When staking MONSTER tomato plants, it’s best not to rub your eyes because it will sting like a son of a bitch and you will yell curse words louder than you should in your backyard, thus making your neighbors even more suspicious of your honkey ass. Tomato plants = acidic. Duh.
5 – Hate is a powerful force. It breeds ignorance and stupidity and absurdity and pain. Why is tolerance so hard to grasp?