It’s only therapy if you have what I need

27 Jul

Yesterday, after working our assess off for two weeks in Wisconsin, we went to Ikea.  Because I NEEDED to go to Ikea.  Because if we didn’t go to Ikea my head was going to explode. Because in the next month we will have overnight guests not once, but twice, and one of those guests just happens to be my mother-in-law, who has not seen our house, or met our dog and so QUE MASSIVE PANIC ABOUT NOT HAVING A CHAIR IN THE LIVING ROOM. OR CURTAINS! GAH! I NEED CURTAINS OR SHE WILL HATE ME AND THINK I AM A HORRIBLE WIFE! Also, DINING CHAIRS! ACK! Because, I can’t react like a normal human being in situations like this and must instead PANIC and FREAK OUT about making sure my house looks splenderific.

So we went. All the way up to Ikea. A nice 90 minute drive over the hills and through the forests that is the I-95 corridor through Virginia. And we spent three hours there. THREE HOURS. We wrote down all the millions of things we would be purchasing on the little piece of paper thing they provide to you and then we headed downstairs and wandered through all the nifty sections down there.

We got some vases, and some curtains (what a relief) and a pillow and a throw and one of those nifty plastic bag organizer things so I can calm the plastic bag attacks that keep happening. And then we went to the self-serve furniture pick-up area (for those have never experienced Ikea, one of their big ideas is that you, the customer can go pick up all of your flat-packed furniture so they don’t have to pay someone to do it. At times, this can by quite frustrating). We went down the aisle that promised to have doors for our bookcases so we can hide all our clutter and present the illusion of a clutter-free existence, and, because Ikea HATES ME, there was only one door.  I need FOUR.  And yet no. There was one door.  FAIL.

Then we wandered over to where the chairs were and there were none. Zip. Zero. No chairs for our dining table. Again, FAIL.

It seems every time we head to Ikea, all excited and thrilled about the prospect of turning our oh-so-empty house into a cozy abode, they are out of the things we need and really, really want.  And yet still, we go. Excited about the prospect. Filled with hope, hope that Ikea likes to crush.

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4 Responses to “It’s only therapy if you have what I need”

  1. Margaret July 27, 2009 at 2:30 PM #

    Go on-line and have them sent to your house.

    Your mother-in-law only care about your love for your hubs.

    It will be OK

  2. Shaba July 27, 2009 at 5:08 PM #

    Ahhh I’m having anxiety about my future in-laws coming into town this weekend.
    I plan on spending at least a day cleaning.
    Her house is always spotless.

  3. H to the Izzo July 27, 2009 at 6:57 PM #

    Ooh, I love the house-setting up. Let me know if you need help. Ikea is always out of what you need, I’m sorry that happened. I still love them though.

    I have 3 bottles of wine that are waiting to be drank if you want a break from house-setting this week.

  4. kirby July 28, 2009 at 7:09 AM #

    I’m totally in love with Ikea, but my love affair has been somewhat spoiled as I ordered a brochure about a month ago and it never arrived.
    Ikea is so fickle.

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