Things I don’t have the patience for:
– Friends who stay at my house for extended periods of time without paying rent who think it’s okay to get up and smoke a cigarette just as soon as we bring home the dinner.
– Friends who call me a pussy when I refuse to get fall-down, stupid drunk. Sorry. I guess I’m just not the alcoholic you wanted me to be.
– A sky that constantly threatens rain but never actually produces rain.
– People who come to my house and refuse to recycle their beer cans, and no matter how many times I tell them to just leave the damn can on the kitchen counter, insist on throwing it in the trashcan. I’m really, really, really tired of taking your beer cans out of the trashcan and I don’t really give a damn if you “hate the Earth.” My house, my rules.
– That friend who insists on telling me I’m a bad woman for asking my husband to do the laundry. “That’s not his role, Woman!” Shove it, asshole.
– The dog when she decides it will be absolutely HIL-AR-IOUS to run around the yard instead of GETTING IN THE HOUSE RIGHT NOW YOU FUR-BITCH!
– My hair which, now that’s it’s the shortest I’ve had it in something like a decade, occasionally refuses to go in a bun. Sadly, buns are mandatory since I’m, you know, a Soldier and stuff.
– College students who don’t know how to cross the street.
What do you not have the patience for?