Life’s Great Dilemmas

21 Sep

Because I’m an over-sharer, I feel compelled to tell you that today I went to the Lady Bits Doctor. I tell you this, because prior to going to said Lady Bits Doctor, I had a great decision to make, and I feel like maybe I’m not the only one who has ever faced this grave dilemma, so then I decided that maybe I should just go ahead and share it on the internet. For the world to see. Because apparently, I have no shame.


Doctor’s offices are cold. Very cold.  Notoriously cold. And, because of the nature of the inspection that happens at the Lady Bits Doctor, I thought, while getting ready to leave for my appointment, that I should wear socks. Because I hate being cold, and I especially hate having cold feet. And so I thought that socks, especially cute blue argyle socks, might brighten my mood, especially if I, by some chance, happened to glance at them during the poking and prodding process one endures at the Lady Bits office. But then I realized I would be forced to remove my shoes while not in the actual Lady Bits exam room because – of course – the nurse would have to check my weight and would, most likely, ask me to remove my shoes.

Ah, decisions, decisions. This would be easy if I still wore my Birkenstocks. But I don’t. I gave them up. I now wear Chuck Taylors. And they take some time to get on and off.  So I decided no – flip flops would be easier, but I thought about my poor naked feet in the stippups, and on the cold linoleum of the Lady Bits Exam Room and realized that NO! My feet should not suffer.

So I wore the socks. And the shoes. And it took by five minutes to get the shoes off. During which time I felt like an asshole. But, it was worth it. Because my toes didn’t freeze to death. And I didn’t contract anything foot fungus-y from the exam room floor, which is, you know, always a plus.


3 Responses to “Life’s Great Dilemmas”

  1. CuppyCakes September 22, 2009 at 6:29 AM #

    I love that out of all that, your biggest dilemma was the shoes and socks debate. I’d have been freaking out more about the poking and the proding.

  2. H to the Izzo September 22, 2009 at 1:32 PM #

    With the serious way you started this paragraph, I thought you were going to share some serious disease or pregnancy or something. My heart stopped for a minute.

    Okay, this weekend, let’s get together fo real, yes? Interest in lantern parade/artsy stuff Friday or Gay Pride activities Sat?

  3. Gooseberried September 22, 2009 at 11:34 PM #

    Dude. I went to the same type of doctor the other day and there was a space heater in the corner, up and running and warming every little bit of that room. How amazing is that!? Never before.

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