Going back to college has been, to say the least, quite an experience. I spend half my time in class enthralled with all the new things I’m learning about different religions and cultured, and shocked by the way my classmates act. I can’t decide if I dislike them all so much because I’m 25, married and grown the eff up, while they’re all 19 or 20 and not at all grown the eff up, or if it’s just that things have changed.
I never, ever, ever in a million years would have complained, at any point in my formal education, that a two point quiz question was too hard. Ever. I don’t care what level the course was. I don’t care who the professor was. I don’t care. I would never have been that person, who interrupts class, thirty minutes after a quiz has been taken, to raise my hand and bitch that a quiz question was too hard or worded in a way that I didn’t understand. I wouldn’t blame my teacher for challenging me too much. I would blame myself for not studying hard enough.
And yet, every single class, someone has to raise their hand and complain. “I don’t understand what you mean by “the woman” or, “I don’t like the way you worded that question,” or, “you need to give us more information on what’s going to be on these quizzes because telling us it’s going to be ‘on the readings’ just isn’t good enough for me because I’m a snobby assface.”
After the majority of the class miserably failed the first quiz, my teacher decided to help the class out and post some guidance as to what information from our readings she expects us to know and that we will be quizzed on. Keep in mind, the readings are only about 10 pages each week – nothing too strenuous. And yet still. These kids complain. Over and over again. Despite the guidance. Despite the short reading assignments.
I just don’t get it.
And then, after our mid-class break last night, only about the half the class returned. Because apparently, they just don’t care.
Then, while my professor was explaining the 5 Pillars of Islam, these two assholes in the back of the class kept making snide comments and I was waiting, just waiting for them to say something obviously offensive. They made it well known they have zero respect for the Muslim faith, although they didn’t cross that line – that fine, fine line. I was hoping – praying even, that they’d say something offensive enough for me warrant smacking them both across the face and making them cry like the little boys they are.
But they didn’t.
Terra’s Tough-as-Nails (and super obvious) Rules to Being a Decent Human Being & a Good Student:
1. When given an assignment, complete it. You’ll be amazed at what it will do for your grades.
2. Don’t talk while your teacher or professor is in the middle of a lecture. It’s rude.
3. Especially don’t talk about how drunk you got last night and how your roommate “is, like, such an asshole.”
4. Remember that there are people all over the world who would kill to be getting the education your dumb, trashy, spoiled rotten ass is getting. Don’t make me give them your address.
5. Don’t laugh at your professor when she’s having problems getting a DVD to play. It’s not funny and laughing at her just makes you look like more of a Jon Gosselin-level douchebag.
6. Obey traffic signs. When the red hand is shown, DON’T WALK. Although, if you continue to walk out in the middle of the road, you might get run over. And that’s something we call natural selection. You might have heard about it.
7. Don’t complain about the attendance policy. Yes, you have to go to class to earn credit. If you can’t understand the concept, maybe you should just leave.
8. Don’t rub your ass on someone’s arm while walking down the aisle without apologizing. It makes me think you’re even more dirty than you look.
9. Stop thinking your snide comments are funny. They’re insensitive and, if you keep it up, they might just result in you getting your ass handed to you by a girl.
10. Don’t complain that a quiz, test, or assignment is too hard. The assignment isn’t hard – you’re just too weak to handle it.