The only good parrot is a stuffed parrot

5 Nov

I hate parrots.  When I see a parrot, I can’t help but visualize a giant house cat gleefully ripping out his feather one by one and nibbling on his little parrot heart.

I really hate parrots. 

I blame Boudreaux the Parrot. 

Boudreaux belong to one of my college roommates. More importantly, Boudreaux hated us.  All of us.  We were loud, frequently drunk college students, and I don’t blame him for his hatred.  

At one point, my roommate felt that Boudreaux the Parrot wasn’t getting enough socialization, so she moved him into the living room.  It was at that point that a war began between us and that damn parrot.  In the beginning, we, the roommates and I, would go over and say “hi” to Boudreaux, encouraging him to step onto our finger or to whistle, only to be met with resistance, and, more times than not, biting. 

As it turns out, parrots bite. And it hurts.  A lot.

Worse than the biting though, was the singing.  Somewhere along the way, that damn parrot had learned the Andy Griffith theme song.  Mostly.  He knew, in his little parrot head, the way it was supposed to go and would spend hours, (HOURS!!) attempting to whistle the song correctly. 

Hearing Boudreaux whistle the Andy Griffith song was cute in the beginning.  It was cute the first time when he got it right and rewarded himself with a nap.  It was not, however, cute when he did it incorrectly.  See, when that parrot messed up part of the song, he’d SQUAWK! LOUDLY! And then start the song all over again.  Until he messed up again. At which point he’d SQUAWK! And then start over. Until he messed up again. 

I think you get the point.

I only stayed in that house for a year, and oh, what a trying year it was.  Eventually Boudreaux was banished to the upstairs because he bit too many of our guests but, even when downstairs, we’d still hear him squawking about his failure at whistling the Andy Griffith theme. 

It’s unfortunate, but I’m pretty sure one of the only things stopping me from going rogue and becoming a pirate is my hatred of parrots.  And it’s all Boudreaux’s fault.


One Response to “The only good parrot is a stuffed parrot”

  1. Margaret November 6, 2009 at 11:58 AM #

    I’m praying too.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: