Lesson Learned: Sometimes it’s better to be an asshole

7 Nov

Way back in August I let a friend move in with us. Her marriage hit the rocks. She needed a place to stay. I opened my house to her. Apparently, I’m generous to a fault. I assumed though, way back in August, that this would be a temporary situation.

Lesson Learned #1: NEVER assume anything when you let a friend move in with you. ALL of your assumptions will be wrong. You might think you’re doing a nice thing for a friend, but chances are your friend is a deadbeat and will instead leave dirty dishes in the sink for you to clean and let piles upon piles of dog hair accumulate in what used to be your guest room. You might also assume a normal human being would wash their sheets once in 2 months, especially considering the very furry HuskyMutt who likes to nap on said sheets, but you would be wrong (you have no idea how grossed out I am by this).

Today was a good day, mostly. My “friend” moved out. Finally. Two and half months after she moved in.

Lesson Learned #2: You might think you like this person, but after living with them for a few months, you will come to hate them. You will, because you are trying VERY VERY WAY TOO HARD to be a good friend, not mention things that are driving you totally batshit insane (like how her work is paying her over $1000 for housing and yet you’re getting NOTHING AKA ZERO DOLLARS AND ZERO CENTS FOR HER TO MAKE MESSES IN YOUR HOUSE) about your friend and instead those things that are making you so damn angry will fester and blister in your pysche until you can no longer even look at your friend without wanting to scream in her face about the mistakes she’s made and what a horrible bad no-good friend she’s been to you.

I should have listened to all the advice out there. That living with a friend is a very bad, no good idea. I should have heeded that warning and realized that I’m married and married people don’t need to have roommates.

Lesson Learned #3: If you try to have some special one on one time in the shower with your husband, your roommate will, without fail, come home and ruin your special time.WITHOUT FAIL.

Don’t think for a minute having a roommate if you’re a married couple used to living alone will totally screw your love live.  It will. WITHOUT FAIL.

Lesson Learned #4: Sometimes you just need to say “no.”


6 Responses to “Lesson Learned: Sometimes it’s better to be an asshole”

  1. Margaret November 7, 2009 at 2:37 PM #

    you did the right thing, but now you know – NEVER AGAIN

  2. san November 7, 2009 at 5:15 PM #

    OMG! J and I had the same thing happen (two years ago)… we let one of his friends move in with us after he broke up with his girlfriend (and he didn’t have any other place to go) and it turned out to be the MOST HORRIBLE decision we’ve ever made.

    We literally had to kick him off our couch three months later, because he was making ZERO effort to find a new place or anything.

    As you said: Sometimes you just have to say “no”!

  3. Alverna November 7, 2009 at 6:00 PM #

    Terra, you ARE too good to a fault! Hopefully, your love life will resume now that it’s just the two of you and–maybe, someday–you and your friend won’t harbor hard feelings anymore.

  4. H to the Izzo November 8, 2009 at 9:05 PM #

    Ouch. I’m sorry it was such a harrowing experience, but hopefully things will look up now that’s she’s out.

    Also, I need to get my camera back. I want to post Halloween photos!

  5. titus2woman November 11, 2009 at 4:00 PM #

    HA! I’ve done this! and I sooo wish I was better at setting ground rules from the git-go, or even KNOWING what ground rules to set. Even birthed with said person here~LOL! Finally a friend told me that I was sending the message to my darling that this person was more important than he was by not addressing it (he was THROUGH!). Somehow I found the backbone to put an end to it after that…. (((((HUGS))))) sandi~GOOD FOR YOU!


  1. 2009: A Time to Nestle « questionable rationale - January 1, 2010

    […] wrote every single day in November, something I will probably never do again.  The sexist friend finally (FINALLY!!) moved out and I realized I should never have let her stay for as long as she did.  I discovered some goats. […]

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