I started losing my vision when I was about 13. As if I wasn’t going through enough awkwardness with the whole puberty thing, Mother Nature saw fit to start stealing my vision from me as well. It was great fun. Really.
So, at 13, I started wearing glasses. The frames were green. I hated them. And only wore them when I absolutely had to. You could say I was glasses-resistant, but alas, there was no turning back. My vision went from can’t-really-see-the-letters-on-the-chalkboard-clearly blindness, to wait-there’s-a-chalkboard-there? blindness.
By the time I was 15, there was no way around the wearing glasses bit.
During the summer between my sophomore and junior years of high school, a whole slew of things changed. My boobs grew – A LOT. I got glasses. I ditched the awkward, chunky blonde streaks in my hair. I got hot. Over a summer. And getting contacts played a major role in that whole getting hot and finding myself sort of bit, so I decided to keep them.
Flash forward a few years. I joined the Army, at 19. When you go to Basic Training, you can’t wear contacts. There are too many risks involved and plus, legend has it that going into the gas chamber with your contacts in could result in the lenses MELTING ONTO YOUR EYES. So yeah, contacts were out, and glasses – hideous, absolutely stupid and ridiculous looking glasses – were back in.
But trust me. The day I graduated, I popped the contacts back in and went on with my bad self.
Contacts have been great. Except for when I get an eyelash in my eye or when my contact lens decides to rage war against my eyeball. And except for when I loose a contact lens and run into things. And, and, and…it goes on and on. I might look like I can see, but really, as soon as one of those magical lenses is comprimised, I’m blind. I’m afraid to go swimming for fear I’ll lose a lens. I’m afraid to have pillow and snowball fights for fear I’ll get whalloped in the head, lose a lens, promptly wander in front of an oncoming semi-truck and catch death because of my blindness.
Seriously. I can’t read the big E on the eye charts. I can’t even tell there’s a letter there. I can’t read a book without my contacts. I can’t see clearly more than 6 inches in front of my face.
So yesterday, I went in to get a free LASIK consultation. And they said I’m a good candidate. So I rejoiced, signed up for a CareCredit card and made an appointment for March 10th at 9 AM. I’m going to pay someone to shoot lasers as my eyes. And then I’ll come home and take a nap. By the time I wake up a few hours later, things shouldn’t be too uncomfortable and I’ll be able to see across the room. Just like that.
The downside? I have to wear glasses for the next two weeks to let my eyes breath and to let them revert back to their natural state.
Basically, I’m right back to my nerdy 15 year old self. Ugh.