If I were the Queen Bee of All that is Good & just a Little Bit Evil…

30 Jun

Everyone would have a soundtrack.

We’d stop eating animals and there would be really, really good, totally believable meat substitutes so we could all enjoy juicy hamburgers and chicken nuggets without the guilt and the pain and the suffering and the depleted ozone layer.

I’d take the time to learn how to ride a bike.

Houses would learn to clean themselves.

I’d put a pool in the backyard. Every Monday and Wednesday during the summer, I’d telework from it because a relaxing work environment is sure to increase productivity.

Everyone would be required to provide at least 23 volunteer hours a week to an organization or cause they consider important  and worthwhile. With all the good karma we’d be putting out into the Universe, we’d achieve World Peace.

 We’d develop solutions to problems before taking big risks that affect the livelihoods of our citizens.

Everyone would be encouraged to grow their own food because it’s delicious and easy and tastes better when it comes from your own backyard.

I’d run the world like Google, with a certain amount of time set aside for everyone to focus on being creative and developing new ideas.

Sex offenders would get sex offended as part of their punishment.

On Fridays, I’d have wine, chocolate, cheese and fruit for dinner. In fact, I’d probably make it our National Meal.

Carbs would stop making me gain weight.

Our top industries would be more focused on solving big problems and making the the world a better place to live than on making money and stealing the souls of their employees.

 I’d name the HuskyMutts as two of my top advisors.

What would you change if you were in charge of everything?

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5 Responses to “If I were the Queen Bee of All that is Good & just a Little Bit Evil…”

  1. CuppyCakes July 1, 2010 at 6:20 AM #

    Why 23 hours? What if you work for one of those organisations as a paid employee, but actually earn less than those living off government subsidies?
    MAKE THEM VOLUNTEER!

    I’d like a soundtrack. I imagine it would start with Bad Romance by Lady Gaga.

  2. ChickNamedHermia July 1, 2010 at 7:28 AM #

    I don’t have 23 hours of free time when you take out my working hours and sleep time!

    Self-cleaning houses would be awesome…as would weight-loss carbs!

    Who would sex-offend the sex-offenders….and isn’t that a ‘two wrongs don’t make a right’ situation? Just chop off their private areas, I say!

    I like that soundtrack one, but no way would I ever give up meat…mmmmmmmmm

    And learn how to ride a bike NOW!

    • Terra July 1, 2010 at 9:59 AM #

      I don’t know who I’d get to sex offend the sex offenders. I had the same thought – that it’s fixing a wrong with a wrong, but in an imaginary world I decided things like that don’t matter. Maybe we’ll have robots to do it!

      And yes, I really should learn how to ride a bike NOW. 🙂

  3. Lara July 1, 2010 at 10:13 AM #

    This is so great! Couldn’t agree more! 🙂

  4. Aly July 1, 2010 at 10:52 AM #

    I love this. I’d definitely convert to veggie/vegan options if we had a decent tasting meat substitute. 😀 No hesitation whatsoever.

    And I’m all for the soundtrack. And the carbs part. Evil, evil carbs.

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