Weekend Update: Good & Bad Edition

Friday:

The Good: Went with husband and recently-returned from Army training best friend to wander around Hollywood Cemetery and take lots of pictures and marvel at the tombs of alleged vampires.
The Bad: Too much traffic! The last time the husband and I went to Hollywood, it was December and thus, deserted.  In July, it is much different and there are loud people and cars and guys on moped-type-things who go very fast down hills and annoy the crap out of me.

The Good: I attended a fabulous 4th of July party hosted by none other than an equally fabulous blog friend. There were lots & lots of margaritas! Made from scratch! No bucket o’ ritas for that classy hostess! No ma’am.  It was delicious and, amazingly, I did not fall down once.
The Bad: Because I am a hypocrite and also an asshole, I totally forgot to let the husband know I made it home safe (he was four blocks away at our friend’s house playing Mario Cart) and thus he was forced to end his night earlier than he would have liked to ensure I was alive and not dead.  The guilt – I has it.

Saturday:

The Good: After sleeping in, we showed off our new and almost complete built-in TV cabinet to our friends, and then drove way out to the other side of town to go to Whole Foods.
The Bad: Richmond’s West End, where the Whole Foods is, sucks.  The traffic, the suburban sprawl – I loathe it.

The Good: Went to a cook-out at a friend’s house, nommed on delicious noms, set off some fireworks and then brought the whole gang back to our house (which was totally not prepared to have people over).
The Bad: We were misinformed about fireworks and thus, only got to see the little (and illegal) shows of my neighbors. FIREWORKS FAIL!

Sunday:

The Good: Slept in and lazed about until the early afternoon.
The Bad: Slept in too late to really accomplish anything.

The Good: Went to cook-out at my cousin’s house where laughter and wine – two of my favorite things – were abundant.
The Bad: Found out said cousin is moving to frickin’ Alabama at the end of this month which gives us appoximately NO TIME AT ALL to see her before she and her husband leave. Boo! Hiss!

And now, it’s Monday. Which just seems wrong.  Monday always seems to be such a harsh punishment after such a lovely three day weekend.

Things I was supposed to accomplish in June & July’s Goals

June Goals:

1. Sell the couch, the coffee table & the old TV stand on craigslist – 33.3% Complete. We got rid of the TV stand, but the couch is still sitting downstairs covered in dog fur and the coffee table has since moved into my office, for better or for worse.
2. Go on a date with my husband – Success!
3. Run at least once a week for the whole month – Fail! I think I ran twice.  The whole month.
4. Mail Dan at least two letters a week – Fail!
5. Get the downstairs disaster area organized – Success! Where there once was disaster, there is now nothing.
6. Find a dress for the Wednesday wedding – Success!
7. Pick a paint color for the downstairs bathroom – Fail!
8. Pick wildflowers – Success! Luckily the month of June allowed me plenty of time out doors in the wilderness of Fort Pickett and so, while tromping through the mud, I picked a wide assortment of flowers I forgot to take pictures of.
9. Bake bread – Fail!
10. Find dining chairs – Fail!
11. Patch holes & paint in the living room – Fail!

I can say I accomplished a lot in June, just not things I wanted to accomplish.  Work was hectic, we were out of town repeatedly, we went to two weddings, worked every single weekend except for the last one and I bought the Sims 3, which means I really didn’t have time for much else.

Oh well. July is a new month.

July Goals

1. Patch holes & paint in the living room
2. Purchase curtains for the living room
3. Get rid of the couch
4. Go on a date with my husband
5. Set up the soon-to-be completed TV area in the living room
6. Purchase a tree for the front yard

July is light on goals because the husband and I are going to be in Wisconsin for two weeks for work and thus, a lot of things I want to get done this month, probably aren’t going to happen.

That said, the living room is becoming more and more complete each day and I can’t wait until I can call it done.

If I drink it, maybe it will make me more poignant

“It is not the stongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” — Charles Darwin

I found that quote on the underside on my Peach Oo-La-Long Honest Tea. I think it’s one of the best things I’ve ever heard from a drink. 

I’ve been thinking about comfort lately.  Not so much in my life, but in the lives of those around me.  It’s so easy to get comfortable in situations that suck.  It’s easy to sit down and ride out the storm rather than work to change it.  Hiding under the bed is much easier than fighting to keep your footing.  Staying is almost always easier than leaving. 

In the end, we’ve got to learn that fighting for our own happiness, sanity and survival is always the best course of action, regardless of how cozy the current situation might be.

Generally, I’m against this sort of thing

In most situations, I know better than to blog while super pissed off, or drunk, or irritated to an extent that makes me want to throw shit. In fact, it’s a rule I’ve made for myself: don’t blog under the influence of extreme anxiety, anger or booze.

But sometimes, on very rare occasions, I like to break rules.  Now, would be one of those times because I am irritated.

See, I have friends who I hang out with every single friday night. And lately, things have been uh, busy to say the least.  This is the first weekend I’ve had off all month. We were gone for most of last week and really, I just haven’t been very here lately because the business was kept my busy. Weird. So someone got their panties in a tizzy because they think I’ve been neglectful. Which is shit because, as I said, I’ve been busy.  Now I learn two of my most closet friends have been sitting around talking shit.  Apparently, one didn’t get my text and now I’m the asshole.

I’m the most loyal person I know.  You need something? I’m there. I will come to your rescue.  Short on rent? I’ll lend you some cash. Need someone to talk to in the middle of the night? I’m your gal. Want some friendly advice on something I’ve been through and you haven’t? Take a seat and I’ll tell you everything I know. I will drive further for you than family. I will shell out more than I should just to see you smile because I love you and because you’ve been good to me and because you’ve made me happy and the very least I can do is give you something, anything you want, in return.

And yet…this. I’m flabbergasted. Feels like I’ve been sucker punched in the chest. Like the airs been drained from my lungs.

The hardest part – and the funniest part – is that, almost two months into being a smoker, I have no fucking clue how to be pissed as a non-smoker.  I smoked TEN YEARS people.  This is the first time I’ve been pissed as an adult who doesn’t smoke and I haven’t no idea how to do it. My body still thinks it wants to smoke right now because that what it did for ten years in situations like these, and my brain keeps telling it to shut up because we don’t do that anymore because it’s gross.

What do people who don’t smoke do when they get upset?

Maybe I’ll just wander into the wilderness

Lately, I’ve been feeling like I can’t breathe.  There’s been so much going on in my life that I can’t seem to ever get caught up. I want to say I’m a loner, and while part of me is, half of me is social butterfly and I haven’t found the word to describe a social loner yet. Oxymoron, maybe?

Have no fear
For when I’m alone
I’ll be better off than I was before

Monday we had six people over for dinner after work.  Tuesday we got home and went to dinner. After work today we’ve got a friend from work coming to stay the night.  It hasn’t left a lot of time for myself and thank goodness the husband agreed to go get some groceries and leave me alone because I am very nearly losing my mind with this being social mess.  I can’t ever seen to strike a balance between too little and too much.

I’ve got this light
I’ll be around to grow
Who I was before
I cannot recall

On the way home from work today, the husband  let me take a nap since I let him listen to music I hate.  But then he put on the ‘Into the Wild’ soundtrack. Which might be the most amazing and fabulous album of all time just because I love every single song. It makes me want to pack a bag and walk into the wilderness by myself and disappear.

Long nights allow me to feel…
I’m falling…I am falling
The lights go out
Let me feel
I’m falling
I am falling safely to the ground

Inevitably, my desire to walk into the woods makes me feel a twinge of guilt.  I mean, isn’t that selfish? I can’t leave everything. That’s just silly. I can’t leave the life I love to vanish. Right?

I’ll take this soul that’s inside me now
Like a brand new friend
I’ll forever know

Really, I just need to find a balance.  Maybe that’s what my 20s are for? Or is that something I’ll spend my whole life attempting to achieve?

I’ve got this light
And the will to show
I will always be better than before

Song lyrics from "Long Nights" by Eddie Vedder.