Things making me increasingly irritable

It is 86 degrees in my apartment right now.

The AC has been on for several hours and it has not gotten cooler in my damn apartment, but rather, three degrees warmer.

The curtains and windows are closed.

The dog, being a husky and thus always wearing a lovely fur coat, is sleeping happily, twitching her paws and talking in her sleep, seemingly unaware of the heat.  I am totally and completely jelous.

My hair is being kept on top of my head with one of those chip click thingies.

And it’s not even summer yet.

Bah!

Happiness 51-60

51. Random acts of kindness.

52. The noises my dog makes when she yawns.

53. Three day weekends.  I really, really needed that.

54. My no-fail dinner: spaghetti with butter, a little bit of salt, and a little bit of garlic.  It’s delicious and I could eat it every single day.

55. The porch at my apartment building where I never fail to make new friends.

56. Jon & Kate Plus Eight marathons.  There was one yesterday.  Let’s just say I didn’t get much accomplished.

57. Online shopping.  I revisited it this weekend.  I haven’t really done any shopping on the internets since I got back from the deployment, thus I thought it was time to reward myself.

58. The new gentle leader I got for Sadie Dog.  There is no more pulling with that thing, and no more jumping either.  It’s awesome.

59. Aveda Rosemary and Mint shampoo.  It’s so indulgent, and more than I’d like to spend on shampoo, but it does wonders for my hair.

60. Peanut M&Ms, which I’ve started to take to work with me.  After about five hours at the office, I need them.

(1-50)

Sexism in Action, or my Affair with NPR

(You can blame this post on NPR.)

Every day, on the way home from work, I tune it for All Things Considered and enjoy the beauty that it NPR.  Seriously, it’s just good radio.  They bring up such fabulous issues and tell such good stories that, by the time I get home each day, I’m feeling all thought-provoked and smart-like.  It’s good stuff.

While I tend to avoid getting all political on this here blog of mine, sometimes I just can’t help it.  Especially when NPR gets me all fired up and they start talking about sexism because really, at the heart of who I am, I am a sociologist.  I can’t help but get all pissy and agitated about things not going right in the good ole US of A.

So today, they had Pat Schroeder, a former Colorado congresswoman, on to talk about Hilary and what’s going on with her campaign, and, specifically the sexism she’s encountered.  And you know what?  In true NPR fashion they brought up a damn good point.  Nobody seems to mind when political commentators say things like “men won’t vote for Hillary because she reminds them of their nagging wives,” or “when HIllary talks all men hear is ‘take out the garbage.'”  But what would happen if we switched that up?  What if, as people pick at Hillary for having ovaries, we picked on Obama for being Black?  Wouldn’t someone stand up pretty damn quickly if someone made a reference to slavery in regards to Obama?  Uh, yeah.  You bet they would.  What more, they wouldn’t be called sissies for being pissed about it and they certainly wouldn’t complain that he couldn’t handle the heat if he spoke out about it, unlike what would likely happen if Hillary attempted to address the rampant sexism she’s encountered.

I guess I just don’t get it.  Society seems to have grasped the concept that racism is ridiculous and cannot be tolerated, but sexism is good as gold around these parts.  Bah humbug.

The weekend in pictures and maybe some words too

I’m not exactly sure what that face means either, which is strange, because it’s my face and I’m pretty sure it was the face I spent most of the weekend making.

Robb, Andrew’s best friend, came down and spent Saturday night and most of Sunday with us because Saturday was his birthday. Birthdays are fun, sure, but after accidentally drinking way too much wine on Friday night, I was not in the mood for anything other than sleeping on Saturday. Since grocery shopping and cleaning the house were mandatory activities on Saturday, I ended up turning into Madame Grumpy-Grump.

Meanwhile, my husband turned into a giant and contemplated eating Robb while he was playing darts.

Sadie was unimpressed with all of us turning into giants and Grumpy-Grumps and did what she does best.

She’s precious and adorable, no?

Blunt Force Ramblings

I keep looking around at where I am in life and getting confused.  I’m not quite sure how I got here, not quite sure I remember at which point the direction seemed to change.  I guess I’ve just been extremely reflective and introspective lately, spending my time marveling at the differences between who I was and who I am.

So much has changed that the place I’m in now is barely recognizable.  It’s hard for me to decide if its for better or for worse but I do have a sneaking suspicion that it’s probably a little of both.

I used to have moments in high school when, with friends, I’d be overcome with the feeling that nothing would ever change, that we would be young forever, friends forever.

Where the hell did everyone go?

I never had a lot of friends.  I mean sure, people knew me.  I was loud and wore low cut shirts, how could people not notice me?  But in terms of friends, like really good friends….there’s only been a few and they were constant for so long and now that I don’t have that, now that I’ve let myself drift so far away, I’m heartbroken.

No.  I’m lonely.

I haven’t wanted to write about this, haven’t wanted to throw it all out there, but I can’t keep it in anymore.  It’s got to get out somehow and dwelling on it and mulling it over in my mind is not solving anything, not that throwing all my emotional baggage out on the internet is the best way to solve things either.

I loved the deployment.  I really, really did.  But I hate what it did to my friendships.  Yes, I gained friends, but I seem to have lost friends as well, friends that have been friends for years and years, best friends.

Is this just what happens?  Is this part of the quarter life crisis?

It’s like there’s a gap in me now.  Like when you break up with someone after a long time and things just feel so empty.  But this gap has stuck around longer and really, how the hell do you go about getting a new best friend?  Is that something I can get on Craiglist?  Is there an online site for things of the BFF nature?

I’ve wanted to write this down for months.  And I haven’t.  I’m not sure why.

It’s funny because I sat down with the intent to write about music, about how I don’t just sit and listen to music anymore.  It’s what I used to do all the time.  And then I started thinking about how strongly my emotions are tired to certain songs and then, of course, a certain song came on and I got all emotional.  That’s how these things work I suppose.  They never go as planned.

—

Completely unrelated sidenote:  I had a dream last night that I went outside to get something from the car in nothing but a tank top and my undies.  And it was raining.  And when I tried to come back into the building some guy let me in through one door and tried to give me $10 so I could go buy some pants.  And then I sat down in our lobby and screamed for Andrew to come and let me into the main part of the building.  What does that mean?